I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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