I wish my penis had an off switch
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Let's get the cat blown out
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
