I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
