so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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