oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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