I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
