now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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