I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
