This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
