hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
