Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
