oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize