My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
