i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i barfeds in our rink
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
