and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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