erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
