I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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