I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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