He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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