shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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