I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
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our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
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I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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