My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize