spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
