She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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