Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
