I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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