So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
