I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
