But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Porn is love you can see.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
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My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
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Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
And my parents said I crawled through the house
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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