I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
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I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
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I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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