She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
