um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
