He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
