She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
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He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
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My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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