I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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