at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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