and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
