Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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