They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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