Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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