apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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