I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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