OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
