Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
