Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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