when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
