I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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