Soap is not a condiment
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
