it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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