I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Alive.
So much puke
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize