if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize