I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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