it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
