he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
