She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
