Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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