She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
